News & Analysis
Shock: Onion Takes Aim at Official 9/11 Story
Ho, Ho, Ho! 9/11 Was An Inside Job! ... Seasons greeting from your old friend Santa! My, my, Christmas is just two short weeks away, and everyone here at the North Pole can't wait to deliver presents to all you nice boys and girls this year. Yes, Jolly ol' St. Nicholas hopes you're all being as good as can be! But today, Santa would like to tell you all about something very naughty, something very, very naughty indeed. Dear children, have you not heard? Why, 9/11 was an inside job! Oh, ho, ho, my, yes it was! – The Onion
Dominant Social Theme: Let's forget about 9/11. It's been resolved.
Free-Market Analysis: Holy Batman! The satirical Onion website has just posted an editorial entitled, "Ho, Ho, Ho! 9/11 Was An Inside Job!"
We are very surprised to see this sort of article at the Onion, as we long ago gave up on this website as a site that was as predictable as it was unfunny.
Maybe it was a mistake? But, no ... the editorial is featured on the top righthand side, the most important place.
Weird, eh? Is this the advent of a new Onion? Will this version actually aspire to be Lenny Bruce rather than Gomer Pyle?
Humor, especially in increasingly authoritarian times, often needs to be edgy to be truly good. Often we have found the Onion to be dull rather than innovative.
Hey, a lot of people like the site. And since we haven't read it regularly, perhaps we're being too harsh. Certainly, this editorial by "Santa" is one for the records. It's biting, subversive and strangely concise. Here's some more:
I mean, look at the facts, boys and girls! We already know the Bush administration was itching to go to war in Iraq, now, don't we? Yes, indeed we do, my darling ones! The Downing Street memo proves that beyond a shadow of a doubt. Then you look at the Presidential Daily Briefing of Aug. 6, 2001, the one headlined "Bin Laden Determined to Strike in U.S." Ignored! Why, children, they threw that briefing aside like used wrapping paper on Christmas morning, didn't they?
And remember, sweet little ones, Bin Laden never claimed responsibility for the attacks until 2004. Do you know how many years that is, boys and girls? Something was up the government's sleeve, and I'll let you in on a little secret: It wasn't sugar plums, oh, no! No, it was the ties between the bin Laden and Bush families. They've been under the mistletoe for decades, if you catch your old pal Kris Kringle's meaning! I've checked my list twice, and it seems Arbusto Energy, a Bush business, had financial connections to Salem bin Laden, half-brother of Osama. The CIA actually helped create and fund al-Qaeda right around the time Bush Senior was the agency's director—ho, ho, ho, ol' H.W. stuffed their pockets as fat as a Christmas goose!
Now, as for the towers themselves: The type of steel they used melts at a temperature of about 2,700 degrees Fahrenheit, and as I'm sure all you smart little boys and girls know, jet fuel burns at 1,500 degrees, tops. My darlings, you'd need quite a Yule log to create that extra 1,200 degrees, wouldn't you? Oh, what a glorious sight it would be!
Of course, you do know what they found in the Ground Zero debris, don't you? Would you like St. Nicholas to tell you? Well, then, hop up on his lap and I'll whisper it in your ear: traces of nano-thermite. Does that jingle any bells upstairs? Nano-thermite is an explosive compound, children, capable of making the biggest Christmas cracker you ever saw! So what in the name of Donner and Blitzen was it doing in the world's largest banking complex?
We had to read this several times just to make sure we were interpreting it correctly. The Onion, which has been in bed with various major media conglomerates for years (certainly on a distribution basis for its print version), was actually publishing a punishing satire of the official story of 9/11.
The 9/11 meme is not one to be easily tampered with. It is the foundational theme of the current war on terror that is allowing the West, and especially the governments of Europe and the US, to strip rights away from citizens virtually at will.
The subdominant theme might be that 9/11 is a settled business. No reason to dig it up again even if it should be unearthed and reexamined.
But The Onion sure has done that. Maybe times are changing. The Onion recently severed most if not all of its mainstream media relationships for its print edition. Perhaps this has freed up the editors to be a bit more daring.
Maybe it presages a different Onion with a more adversarial stance. But when we read other articles on the website they were the usual predictable stuff. One was slamming Chris Brown for being a woman-beater. Another was parodying "preppers." Some of it was funny, or even clever. A lot of it was kind of sophomoric.
But, gee, this Santa piece about 9/11!
We have no idea why it ended up where it did. When we reviewed Google, it became clear that The Onion comments on 9/11 a lot. Perhaps in this one area, The Onion is bold and even confrontational. Maybe someone who reads The Onion more regularly can fill us in.
In the spirit of the Season, we recommend this parody. It's raised points that we've raised in the past. There's just too much that is unexplained about 9/11 to believe the official story: the impossible cell phone calls, the inexplicable lack of air defense and much more.
Maybe, as we've suggested, the best thing would be to convene a new commission, public or private and let it reexamine the "evidence."
But we won't hold our collective breath. Won't happen. No how. No way. The 9/11 attack/tragedy will continue to fester at the heart of the American psyche.
Conclusion: The US will never be healed until the truth about 9/11 is plainly stated. But unexpected articles like this one in The Onion – whether you agree with it or not – are a start.
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Posted by HumanBeing on 12/16/12 10:37 PM
"Maybe, as we've suggested, the best thing would be to convene a new commission, public or private and let it reexamine the "evidence.""
There were some public hearings in Toronto this year:
Click to view link
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Posted by dave jr on 12/16/12 11:27 AM
tj,
"..you will see in the passage that Abraham calls the men on each side of the chasm "son"."
That is a good point. We do not need anything from our brethren on the "other side", the collectivist. In fact, it would be easier to eliminate him than live with him. But if we recognize that a noninvested third party has promoted his position, and that unrest is the goal of that third party, we can see more accurately what needs to be avoided. Warfare never settles anything, but plays into the hand and strengthens this third party hiding in the bushes.
All we need to do is walk away. That means to reestablish our economy by shunning the FRN or any other fiat currency.
Easier said than done.
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Posted by MetaCynic on 12/16/12 03:55 AM
Architects and Engineers for 9/11 Truth have put out a truly mind opening video analyzing the events at the WTC on 9/11 from the perspective of a variety of technical and scientific experts. These experts include architects, structural engineers, fire protection engineers, controlled demolition engineers, materials scientists, physicists and chemists. These experts are unanimous in their opinion that impacts and fires could not have brought down the three towers in the manner in which they fell. An unexpected group of experts interviewed were psychologists. They pointed out exactly the phenomenon covered in these postings having to do with the public in general refusing to consider the possibility that their government could have been behind the events of 9/11. People's identities are so intertwined with the government that it is almost impossible for most to psychologically break free of these ties. Condemning government is like condemning themselves.
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Posted by rosendude on 12/15/12 10:43 PM
Yeah, except it wasn't funny. I wish articles like this one were read more widely.
Click to view link
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Posted by fred on 12/15/12 09:37 PM
Another website worth visiting is Click to view link
Architects & Engineers for 9/11 Truth
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Posted by EndOfInnocence on 12/15/12 06:15 PM
Yes. The official story cannot be true. Click to view link
As for "edgy satire", have you heard that Obama is a reneger? Click to view link
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Posted by KonDon on 12/15/12 04:39 PM
The Onion's basic premise is that most people are idiots. I've been reading it for a long time and you should give it another chance, it's definetly not sophomoric. The other 9/11 piece they wrote was making fun of a truther, which was funny in my eyes, but this piece is definetly in support of alternate theories. The comedy comes from Santa saying it, but the point is to elecit a response.
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Posted by tjdetmers on 12/15/12 11:58 AM
Click to view link
The story of Lazarus and the rich man talks about an uncrossable chasm being fixed between us... ... much more permanent than a line in the sand. This passage shows us that the Truth being subverted is nothing new. The 9/11 religion has the images and stories to make it visceral to the sheeple. At every turn... .we are taught to accept blindly and not to think critically. We are guilty of that in our schools, churches, media etc. I believe there is a very good reason that the Christmas story was first shared with the uneducated, monetarily poor shepherds in the fields.
Just as an aside... ..you will see in the passage that Abraham calls the men on each side of the chasm "son".
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Posted by dave jr on 12/15/12 11:14 AM
scousekraut,
Thankyou for that link but it didn't connect.
try:
Click to view link
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Posted by dave jr on 12/15/12 11:06 AM
taxesbyanyothername,
'The problem is, that for most people to admit that much of what they have believed is obviously nonsense, they have to admit to themselves that they have been fools for their entire lives.'
I agree with DB that your point is profound and also has a very important ramification. Those who 'control' for a living are relatively harmless except for a small class who deceive without limitation, over generations to aggregate wealth and power without conscience. There are so many lines in the sand due a divide and conquer strategy, but the growing chasm is the psychological one.
Indeed it is just as frightening as painful to the pride to consider that there is solid fertile ground on the other side. It is easier and comforting to label it loony land and willfully remain fat, dumb and happy, even as the ground crumbles beneath their feet. There is safety in the herd. It is unthinkable to consider one has participated in the downfall of humanity by transgressing natural law.
Democracy actually works better than religion because the implied responsibility is tangible. Since we are the government, or so we're told, the fight is a personal one as well as ideological. The PE has no physical investment. They rely on GI Joe to take down Joe the plumber.
Interesting times for sure. All we can do is keep the trail behind us open for others while seeking those who have blazed before us. I have to believe there is life on the other side, and that the principle of natural law is so toxic to the PE that they cannot pursue.
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Posted by scousekraut on 12/15/12 09:03 AM
When I come across people who have still not researched 9/11 and are not resistent to it - many people of course will do anything to avoid researching it - I refer them to
w w w . p i l o t s f o r 9 / 1 1 t r u t h . o r g.
After all they are not only experts about planes, radar systems and so on they are able to prove that the official story is a lie. And their DVD's are excellent.
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Posted by Joe on 12/15/12 05:16 AM
Living in the matrix and "knowing it", is frustrating most of the time. I am always told by people I work with and family members that 'I think too much', or 'I read too much' and that I should just take life at face value. Enjoy the mass entertainment, consume it like everyone else and be happy 'in the matrix. Do not talk about serious 'boring' stuff that does not concern us.
On most things I am fairly open minded and doubt everything, yet I am accused of being too fixed. I am sure there is alot I do not know and many of the things I think I know may well be false or wrong. I was hoping to meet some individuals both male and female who would form a group of like minded people but at the moment it is just 'every man for himself' and those most plugged into the system are the majority and the dumbest. I just live with it, sometimes I feel 'arrogant pride' that I know so much more than the idiots I have to indure (delusions of grandure). :-)
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Posted by mikef on 12/14/12 07:30 PM
Old news. The fact that it is mainstream now shows another agenda is about to be raised. My money is on linking it to Zionism and by proxy the Jewish faith/Old Testament. World needs a scapegoat for its wickedness, as this NWO just seems to dog us. Why is that? Because we want it.
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Posted by 1776 on 12/14/12 06:38 PM
General Wesley Clark: Because I had been through the Pentagon right after 9/11.
About ten days after 9/11, I went through the Pentagon and I saw Secretary Rumsfeld and Deputy Secretary Wolfowitz. I went downstairs just to say hello to some of the people on the Joint Staff who used to work for me, and one of the generals called me in. He said, "Sir, you've got to come in and talk to me a second." I said, "Well, you're too busy." He said, "No, no." He says, "We've made the decision we're going to war with Iraq." This was on or about the 20th of September. I said, "We're going to war with Iraq? Why?" He said, "I don't know." He said, "I guess they don't know what else to do." So I said, "Well, did they find some information connecting Saddam to al-Qaeda?" He said, "No, no." He says, "There's nothing new that way. They just made the decision to go to war with Iraq." He said, "I guess it's like we don't know what to do about terrorists, but we've got a good military and we can take down governments." And he said, "I guess if the only tool you have is a hammer, every problem has to look like a nail."
Click to view link
Hillary Clinton Admits the U.S. Government Created al-Qaeda Published on Apr 10, 2011
Click to view link
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Posted by taxesbyanyothername on 12/14/12 05:59 PM
Even as a child I was a skeptic of the official line about many things. As a teenager I became convinced that there was nothing good about the welfare-state. In my twenties I became more wary of the un-conservative Republicans. Never believed one word that Bill Clinton said and still blame the public for being willfully ignorant and voting for him.
I have taught a large group of home-schooled children, and their mothers, that we all are on the front line in the fight against the growth of government. And yet, at fifty, and after more than two years of reading LRC, and DB, and many similar sites, I still find myself reluctantly giving up deep seated beliefs that are more and more obviously lies.
The big lie is not the real problem. The problem is that we have been lied to about nearly everything, and even those of us who didn't believe all of it, believed far too much. The problem is, that for most people to admit that much of what they have believed is obviously nonsense, they have to admit to themselves that they have been fools for their entire lives.
Reply from The Daily Bell
You have put your finger on a profound thing. How many of us, pridefully educated, literate, caring, focused, civilized ... want to admit that everything we have built our lives around, every book, every movie, every degree, every painfully manufactured belief and agonizingly acquired idea was likely a diversion, created to distract us from a truth that seems increasingly terrible and, as you point out, difficult to believe. It is no joke. Discovering that one lives in a Matrix movie is profoundly disconserting and can bring on a sense of otherworldly-ness, as if one is increasingly disassociating from real life.
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Posted by coldbeer on 12/14/12 04:46 PM
You don't seriously think the elite are just going to sit back and wait to be put into jail do you? Be careful what you wish for... ... ... ..we could all end up getting killed over getting the truth. With that said I say press forward and get to bottom of it.
Everyday I wake up and realize what a hellhole I live in thanks to these greedy bastards and I want heads to roll. And idiot can survey all the evidence on the internet, sift out the good from the bad, and come to the conclusion the US Gov't has their hands all over 9-11. What a great country we live in!
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Posted by Adam on 12/14/12 04:04 PM
DB: 'When we reviewed Google, it became clear that The Onion comments on 9/11 a lot. Perhaps in this one area, The Onion is bold and even confrontational. Maybe someone who reads The Onion more regularly can fill us in.'
I've always read The Onion as an anarchist/atheist publication. Some favorites:
Report: U.S. May Have Been Abused During Formative Years
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Nation Tunes In To See Which Sociopath More Likable This Time
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I'm Prepared To Give My Life For This Or Any Country
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Pakistani Intelligence Announces Its Full Cooperation With U.S. Forces During Upcoming Top Secret June 12 Drone Strike On Al-Qaeda At 5:23 A.M. Near Small Town Of Razmani In North Waziristan
Click to view link
Al-Qaeda: Latest Missile Attack Bears Hallmarks Of U.S. Military
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U.S. Government: We Have Not Forgotten About Olala Win Robben
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Osama Bin Laden Found Inside Each Of Us
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Department Of 'Homeland' Urges All Americans To Watch This Week's Episode
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CIA's "Facebook" Program Dramatically Cut Agency's Costs
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More Americans Falling For 'Get Rich Slowly Over A Lifetime Of Hard Work' Schemes
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Social Security Scam Robs Elderly By Convincing Them They Are Dead
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Recession-Plagued Nation Demands New Bubble To Invest In
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Fort Knox Receives $85 From Cash4Gold
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Man Throws Money At Problem
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U.S. Economy Grinds To Halt As Nation Realizes Money Just A Symbolic, Mutually Shared Illusion
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U.N. Agency Says 2012 Celebrities Hottest On Record
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Jupiter's Liberals Worried About Their Ammonia Footprint
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New Prius Helps Environment By Killing Its Owner
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New 'War' Enables Mankind To Resolve Disagreements
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It Would Be An Honor To Serve My Country, Return With PTSD, Sit On A Mental Health Care Waitlist, Then Kill Myself
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BREAKING: No Way Egypt Coming Out Of This With A Functional Democracy
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Fighting Continues Over World's Holiest Bombing Sites
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Sumerians Look On In Confusion As Christian God Creates World
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Exiled American King Triumphantly Returns To Washington
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Mysterious Crate Arrives From London
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Cut This Monster Out Of Me
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Reply from The Daily Bell
We'll agree to disagree on this one. The Onion WANTS to appear as subversive but as we pointed out much of the material seems fairly tame
But ... thanks much for the links. Some of the ones you selected were quite well done, by the way, surprisingly so.
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Posted by shakingfist on 12/14/12 04:04 PM
DB, my take is that this story in The Onion at this time does two additional things:
It discredits any honest information that might be revealed because it is appearing in a "fake" or comedic news organization. This is seems to be common practice in movies as well. It nips any future discussions amongst private individuals as it makes any similar ideas seem fanciful.
This story at this type of year is a meta example of just how over-bearing and tiring the whole "truther" persona can be. I very well want people to wake up to the entire Inside Job thing, but I gave up trying to force my views on others as counter productive.
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Posted by bionic mosquito on 12/14/12 03:21 PM
DB, you are correct, of course.
ccuthbert, save for the educating work done via the internet, I agree wholeheartedly:
Click to view link
Reply from The Daily Bell
Really great.
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