Are you ready for this week’s absurdity? Here’s our roll-up of the most ridiculous stories from around the world that are threats to your liberty, risks to your prosperity… and on occasion, inspiring poetic justice.
Argentina Passes Wealth Tax in the Name of COVID Recovery
In response to COVID-19, Argentina implemented strict lockdowns which further destroyed its already struggling economy. And Argentina’s lockdowns did not achieve the government’s objective of slowing the spread of the disease.
Now, these brilliant politicians think they have found the solution to rebuild: a new wealth tax.
The government introduced a “one time” wealth tax which affects any Argentine with assets totaling $2.4 million or more.
These citizens will owe up to 3.5% of their total net worth to the government, and 5.25% of any wealth held outside of Argentina.
The government plans to use the money to pay for healthcare supplies, small business relief, scholarships, and some natural gas ventures.
They might as well also buy a billboard that says, “Do not bring your wealth to Argentina.”
Mask Nazis Volunteer to Patrol Pasadena Streets
COVID Brownshirts will be lurking the streets of Pasadena, California to catch people not wearing masks in public.
Society’s hall-monitors will ridicule and intimidate you until you put on a mask.
Last week they told some runners in a park that they needed to wear masks. While running. Outdoors. By themselves. Well, at least the runners were by themselves until the mask-Nazis approached.
Maybe next we can start COVID Youth so schoolkids can inform on their families’ social distancing habits… oh wait, the Governor of Vermont is way ahead of us.
Thousands of foreigners received stimulus checks from Uncle Sam
The IRS sent thousands of $1,200 stimulus checks to foreigners (i.e. people who are NOT US citizens) at foreign addresses, who did not qualify to receive the funds.
At first, the IRS tried to blame the recipients, saying they must have incorrectly filed a US tax return.
Now the tax agency admits it was its own error which sent millions of dollars of taxpayer money to ineligible non-Americans overseas.
But that’s still not as bad as the 1 million checks sent to dead people.
However, in both cases, the IRS has no plans to recover the money.
Belgium won’t allow your guests to use the bathroom
In Belgium, the government will graciously allow you to invite up to four guests to your home for the holidays– but they have to stay outside in the yard.
In fact, they are not even allowed to pass through your house to enter your back yard. There has to be direct access to your backyard from outdoors. Hopefully grandma can still hop the fence!
And your guests will not be allowed to go inside your home to use the bathroom– they have to go home if they need to relieve themselves.
Virologists admitted that walking through a home is unlikely to spread COVID, but added that grown adults can’t be trusted to not stop and have a chat.
In Vaccine Delivery Test, half the supplies were shipped to the wrong state
Colorado public health officials are preparing for a massive, statewide vaccination. So state agencies have started rehearsing the distribution process– specifically, how are they going to receive and warehouse millions of doses?
In the first major test of the state’s distribution capabilities, they were supposed to receive two bulk shipments from the federal government, essentially simulating the arrival of COVID vaccines.
Only one shipment arrived to Colorado. The other (for some inexplicable reason) ended up in Kentucky.
But 50/50 is still good enough for government work, and the State of Colorado declared this trial run a smashing success!
High schoolers can wrestle, as long as they don’t shake hands first
Ohio officials have issued rules to make high school sports safer in times of COVID-19.
Wrestlers must stay six feet apart and wear masks while on the bench and warming up.
When they enter the ring, they are prohibited from shaking hands.
Only then does it become safe to grapple your sweaty, heavy breathing opponent, and roll around on the ground together for six minutes.
But they don’t shake hands, so it’s all good.
Conclusion? Covid spreads from shaking hands, but not from wrestling… just like Covid spreads in churches and synagogues, but not at ‘peaceful protests’.
Remember, we must listen to the scientists.
Covid is now spread… by vehicles?
Public health officials in Lithuania are now requiring that parking lots only be utilized at 20% capacity. In other words, at shopping malls and grocery stores, there can only be one vehicle parked in every FIVE parking places… because apparently Covid now is now transmitted from cars.
Interesting that the width of five parking spaces is far more than 6 feet in distance. So does that invalidate all the social distancing guidance we’ve heard so far that said 6 feet is OK?
Well, it doesn’t matter. We must listen to the scientists. And we must not ask any questions.
Hypocrisy Roundup: Politicians Who Don’t Follow Their Own Rules
We have two more politicians to add to this week’s hypocrisy round-up for violating their own COVID-19 rules.
Chile announced fresh lockdowns this week, with masks required in public at all times, including outdoors.
Meanwhile, the President of Chile, Sebastian Pinera, was photographed on the beach, without a mask, standing directly next to someone who asked for a photograph.
The President claims he will report himself and pay the fine… only after being caught of course.
A Chicago City Councillor was caught allowing customers inside a restaurant he owns, despite a city-wide rule against serving customers indoors.
He called it an error in judgement, and said it will not continue… only after being caught of course.