Originally published via Armageddon Prose:
The story was relayed to me third-hand – through my wife’s Sri Lankan friend — that, in order to remedy a monkey overpopulation problem on the island, the governing authorities were considering selling the into Chinese slavery – presumably to serve as test subjects in some dingy biolab.
It turned out to be true, apparently, via Deccan Herald:
“Cash-strapped Sri Lanka is exploring the possibility of exporting 1,00,000 [sic] endangered monkeys to China, one of its largest bilateral lenders, the agriculture minister has said.”
The Chinese say they just want them to put them into zoos, but I don’t buy in. They do a lot of biomedical experimentation in China, as we’ve come to learn in recent years, and I’m going to work off the solid assumption that’s what use these poor monkeys will be put to.
Given what we know about how little the Chinese state values human life, can you imagine what government scientists do behind closed doors to the monkeys under their rule?
If only karma were real, and Anthony Fauci could be re-summoned to Earth to serve a life sentence as a Chinese Communist Party test subject primate. How sweet and satisfying it would be – an absolute dream come true.
Ben Bartee is an independent Bangkok-based American journalist with opposable thumbs.
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