STAFF NEWS & ANALYSIS
Body of Executed Terrorist Mysteriously Goes Missing
By Joe Jarvis - April 16, 2017

ROME- Inciting riots, making terrorist threats, destruction of property, treason, and impersonating a King are just some of the charges this man faced last week.

When the regional authorities of the Sanhedrin finally had enough of his sedition, agents of Rome moved to arrest the terrorist who has been in the news constantly over the past few years.

Last week the target was located on a tip from follower turned informant Judas Iscariot. Judas became disillusioned with the lies and tricks Jesus pulled and decided to turn Jesus in for the reward for information leading to his arrest.

According to a source within the Roman military ranks, cult members were illegally camped with their leader and became violent as Roman authorities approached. One soldier was attacked by a follower and had his ear severed.

But Jesus of Nazareth was captured, and given a fair trial for his crimes. Prefect Pontius Pilate seemed hesitant to rule Jesus guilty of plotting against the Roman Empire, but acquiesced that he was guilty of other charges brought by regional Jewish leadership.

Jesus was sentenced to death by crucifixion, which was carried out last Friday, along with the executions of two thieves.

“I don’t believe everything Jesus said,” a man who met Jesus but wished to remain anonymous told us, “But he definitely had a unique perspective. I just don’t think he deserved to die though. I mean he may have been a little crazy but that doesn’t mean they should crucify the guy. He seemed pretty peaceful to me.”

Yet Jesus regularly dined with sinners and generally associated with the lowest members of society. Especially concerning was his relationship with a prostitute named Mary Magdalene. The two were often seen together but never married. Jesus even once stopped an adulteress from being stoned to death–the proper punishment according to regional law.

And of course, Jesus incited the now infamous riot at a temple, destroying property and attempting to start an uprising when he toppled the tables and scales of merchants and traders in a violent rage. So it is unclear how the public might still view the clearly unstable man as “peaceful.”

And indeed, the majority of Palestinians feel Jesus was properly punished for breaking the law.

“That wouldn’t have happened to him if he had just followed the law,” one man said, who also wished to remain anonymous, fearing reprisal from Jesus’s cult. “It’s pretty simple, don’t break the law and you won’t be arrested and crucified. I have no sympathy for him. He knew what he was doing was wrong.”

And indeed Jesus not only took himself down this path of dereliction, but influenced his followers to abandon their wives and properties in order to live a nomadic lifestyle of partying. One victim of Jesus’s con was a respectable tax collector who was brainwashed into abandoning his comfortable occupation to camp in the wilderness and travel from town to town.

The world is better to be rid of this con man who managed to convince crowds that he could conjure up fish and bread, and turn water into wine. He preyed on the weak and infirm, tricking the blind and crippled into traveling untold distances to seek cures for their ailments.

Though reports flurry of those whom Jesus healed, we were unable to locate any actual recipients of Jesus’s supposedly miraculous healing.

But it seems that even though the world is rid of this dangerous criminal, his cult seeks to perpetuate the image of Jesus as divine. His body was entombed and sealed with a two ton boulder. But just this morning reports surfaced that Jesus’s body went missing.

What Happened to the Body of Jesus?

Jesus was entombed just miles from where his sentence was carried out.

Some speculate that Jewish authorities stole the body of Jesus who they condemned for claiming to be the King of all Jews. The idea is that they would desecrate his body, refusing to give him a proper burial due to his blasphemy.

But when you think about it, this theory does not hold much water. Jewish leaders would know they would risk turning Jesus into a martyr by stealing his body. They already got what they wanted, punishment for a troublesome terrorist. So why overextend themselves?

A more likely scenario is that close followers of Jesus’s cult stole the body in an attempt to perpetuate the myth that he is the Jewish “messiah”.

Sources close to Jesus’s “disciples” (as cult member call themselves) say that the disciples thought they could bring Jesus back from the dead.

Mary Magdalene followed Roman soldiers as they interred the body, and could have related this location back to his followers.

Still unclear is how they would have removed the enormous rock blocking the entrance to the grave, especially without being detected by Roman soldiers posted nearby.

Authorities are investigating, and will prosecute the perpetrators when found. Robbing graves is illegal, even if the victim is a known con-man and convicted terrorist, and carries hefty punishment.

But the crowds that typically surrounded Jesus have evaporated since his conviction. People seem to realize that a man as supposedly powerful as Jesus would have been able to save himself from death if he really was the magical God he claimed to be.

What is certain is that Jesus is still dangerous after death, through the followers of his cult. Judas Iscariot was found hanged from a tree in what authorities believe may have been a lynching by Jesus’s disciples in retribution for his part in the apprehension.

It is advisable to stay far away from any followers of Jesus, as their violence seems to have only increased since his death. In desperation, they are especially dangerous to come into contact with.

Anyone with information on their whereabouts should contact local Roman authorities. If you have any knowledge of cult members’ involvement in the robbing of Jesus’s grave or the death of Judas Iscariot, please do not hesitate to contact authorities, as disciples pose an imminent danger to the public.

Posted in STAFF NEWS & ANALYSIS
  • sebastian puettmann

    That Jesus guy was alright but I never really liked him. Thank god that story is over.

  • Jennifer

    Is this article some kind of sick joke?

  • James Clander

    Spreading fairy tales like this should be a Capital offence .

    • Exactly. That’s how the media would have reported it.

    • Spreading fairy tales like this should be a Capital offence . …. James Clander

      Spreading fairy tales like that, and this, are Capitol offensive, JC. But such is the way of the crazy world in which everyone is living and everything is happening.

      You could also argue, and all evidence would undoubtedly confirm it to be so, that it takes more than just simple media hosted programming and secret intelligence services and a handful of algorithms for chaotic decision-making, to direct the future into and onto courses which do not reveal the true nature and real identities of that which and those who would be thinking they can lead remotely from the shade in shadows, and have all bases covered for classic immunity and personal private protection against accountability and responsibility for actions/reactions/proactions.

  • Eagleclaw

    I wont ever read the Daily Bell again and will advise everyone I know to do the same ! Truly pathetic and disturbing.

    • mnesbitt100

      Yes it must be disturbing to live your whole life believing in bullshit.

  • georgesilver

    If Jesus had actually existed (which he didn’t) that’s how the mainly Jewish owned media would have portrayed him today.

    • You will find arguments on both sides of that belief – and yet we have a calendar that has B.C. and A.D. – seems strange doesn’t it.

      • georgesilver

        Belief says he existed. Facts say he didn’t.

        • john cummins

          Its history man

        • WellLahdidah

          Lets clarify a few things.
          1st — Logically, A thing cannot be proven to not exist.
          2nd — Faith is wrongly ascribed as merely “belief”, not so. It is, belief plus, the willingness to act on the belief — not to sit like a rock and expect “proof” to fall out of the sky, When I act on my faith, then I commune with God and he communes with me. The repetition of this pattern is what creates faith. My heart understands what your eyes will never believe. To require proof, is to deny everything that Christ lives for. Faith must exist absent of proof, in the face of “proof”, faith becomes knowledge, and to those who have ears to hear, that renders the whole thing, pointless.

      • robt

        B.C. and A.D. have been rendered obsolete so as not to offend the sensibilities of non-believers and/or scholars. They have been replaced by B.C.E and C.E., i.e. Before Common Era and Common Era, whatever those are meant to mean.
        However, ironically, they simply need be read Before Christian Era and Christian Era!

    • Tom in Austin

      I know Jesus existed. Not so sure about you…

  • killerbeans

    Perspective…

  • robt

    How James managed to turn this story into a viable cult over the next 30 years that he ran the Church until he himself was killed is a miracle in itself.

  • Craig

    Extremely well done. As a Christian and follower of Christ, I found this story to be EXACTLY how many in the world view the accounts in the gospels. Perhaps that is why our Lord said “Enter ye in at the strait (narrow) gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat:
    Because strait is the gate, and narrrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.” Matthew 7:13-14
    Praise God, He is risen!

    • Thank you, I am glad you understood what we were doing!

    • Howdy Craig, there a lot more happenings in these coming days. And all of it good unless you be fully deserving of bad ….. but that be only natural justice and the price to be paid for sins and vices abused rather than tamed.

      The paraphrased tale shared above, Body of Executed Terrorist Mysteriously Goes Missing and commented upon here on the Daily Bell, has me pondering on how things can be so very different now if/when one knows what one be doing needs to be done, and where IT be leading, but how little everything is changing and has been changed mainstream, in service of a petrified elite class of terrorising beings/virtual entities skulking behind hidden identities, and whose fragility and degree of grasp on reality is reflected beautifully in the following observation, which surely you can appreciate is mirrored in events being hosted in media and posted via media channels all over the place and throughout space …….

      Thinking about that made my head spin. It also reflected what I consider to be one of the great lessons of adulthood: that most of the institutions and endeavors we regard as ironclad — from parenting to politics — are actually held together with chewing gum and duct tape. Nothing truly works, at least not for long, or not in the way it’s supposed to. This reality is terrifying, because it exposes the precariousness of the existing order. But it’s also liberating, because it encourages the individual to act, to defy the ominous mythology of competence and control. ….. https://cryptome.org/2017/04/snowdens-box.pdf

      Do you know what needs doing for IT to be done with everything changed into a new way of doing things differently and better than ever before? Or are you for following Grand Worshipful Orders?:-)

      • Craig

        It seems that we both feel that the world as we know it is about to change dramatically from a financial, economic, political, and social perspective. As one wise analyst recently remarked “things that cannot go on forever…won’t”. Perhaps this is the year that The Great Ponzi falls apart, we shall see.

  • Praetor

    This person was so dangerous, that the presiding ruler of the nation that this person was born in, sent his soldiers to kill every child under the age of two yrs. old. He was considered a extreme terrorist before he was born. One of the extreme ideas that this person put forth was love thy neighbor. In our world today, this idea is being ignored and will be its undoing.!!!

    • dauden

      Actually, its undoing will be the results of the love of money and the rejection of the truth which is revealed in the un-copyrighted Authorized King James Bible, the written Word that God promised to preserve…..forever! Loving thy neighbor was part of the commandment God gave Israel to follow. The law has been done away with in the past 2000 years (read Romans) and we all live under the same grace God gave to the Apostle Paul on the road to Damascus when he was killing those “cult followers”. That grace is wrapped up in the work that Christ fulfilled at the cross which was a mystery never known until it was revealed to Paul and found in Romans 16:25, KJV, among other of his writings. That work, that Christ died for our sins, was buried, and rose again for our justification, is found in I Corinthians 15:3-4, KJV. Paul reveals to us, by inspiration, that if it wasn’t a mystery, kept secret from the beginning of the world, Satan would not have crucified the Lord of Glory! In other words, Satan has lost the battle for the souls of mankind when we trust him, apart of from ANY work! Because Christ, God in the flesh, came and accomplished the only work God, the father, would accept. No boasting allowed because we have all sinned. But Christ was innocent. Get that and be saved!

      • Al Bundy

        Political/Media Propaganda and Religious Organisation Propaganda seems very much the same.

  • Kurtben

    Sad to say that if Yeshua came again to this generation and he didn’t happen to float down out of the sky and kill all his enemies, modern man would reject him now just as before. This would be especially true for church attending Christians.

  • Just can’t ignore Jesus …..

  • hvaiallverden

    Yup, fairy tales against the hundred monkeys theory of how evolution, the greatest magical even “obviously” happened.
    Yeah, witch to choose, the truth or fairy tales, do enlighten an “heretic” like me.

    I could pick anyone, from Siddhartha Guatarama to Christ/Muhammad, and they say the same, darkness is ignorance in display, love of the creative force, and to destroy things you dont need intelligence, only lies and ignorance.
    Stearn this mix, with arrogance, an believe in an science that have turned out to be an mere scam, and an economic policy witch has an base philosophy of an cancer cell.
    And then the banking system, the only time Yeshua got really pissed.
    Not even when nailed did He loose it, not even when they betrayed Him did He loose it, yeah wounder why.

    Fact is, most of you know nothing, religion and science to day, have crushed it completely, you simply dont know.

    But the analogy stands, and is true.
    The rest is for debate, but one thing must be realized and given the place it deserves, that Yeshua predicted Muhammad’s, coming.
    600 years before it happened.

    But to me, personally, I go with the Zoroastrians.
    May the fire light your path, to the fire within.
    And may the lord have mercy upon tho that showed mercy and love in this world, so they can live in the heaven.
    Blessed be the peace makers, forgiving is hard, an yard stick in the process of conscious growth, love life and life will love you back, talk to the world and the world talks back, when you know this, be true to your self, because then you will know the vast abysmal difference between Knowing and Believing.
    And then, you will see it, the real power, the power of love.

    WE have everything we need, free will, the only thing that lacks this days, is the will power to do it, the means, is even given from our creator, the fire within.

    Thats it.

    peace

    “You have known, O Gilgamesh,
    What interests me,
    To drink from the Well of Immortality.
    Which means to make the dead
    Rise from their graves
    And the prisoners from their cells
    The sinners from their sins.
    I think love’s kiss kills our heart of flesh.
    It is the only way to eternal life,
    Which should be unbearable if lived
    Among the dying flowers
    And the shrieking farewells
    Of the overstretched arms of our spoiled hopes.”

    Herbert Mason,
    The Epic of Gilgamesh

  • bailintheboat

    Rather vain to assume that these arguments haven’t been examined and answered thousands of times over in two thousand years.

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