Originally published via Armageddon Prose:
When I was a young lad, around ten years old, sometime in the 90s, my uncle asked me, apropos of nothing, whether I had heard.
“Heard what?” I asked.
“Oprah got caught with 50 pounds of crack at the airport.”
He smiled wryly, subversively — as only a blasphemer can.
As a result, he was immediately and viciously henpecked by a gaggle of certain eavesdropping liberal family members, but my instincts told me then he was a good man.
Salute to Jim Bartee, wherever you are these days — the Land of Kiwis, last I heard.
Turning to the topic at hand, apparently billions and billions of dollars and unending admiration from hordes of lobotomized NPC wine moms from coast to coast isn’t enough for Slay Queen Oprah’s formerly fat ass; instead of riding off into the sunset, she requires the limelight once again to peddle fashionable pharma bullshit, just to stroke her clitoral ego as little more — ooh yeah, don’t stop, admire me harder, look at me, look at me, ¡dios mio, papi!, I’m almost finished…
Via Variety:
“Oprah Winfrey has set an hour-long ABC primetime special about weight loss drugs following her exit from the board of WeightWatchers after revealing her personal use of them. The special, titled ‘An Oprah Special: Shame, Blame and the Weight Loss Revolution,’ will air later this month. Oprah recorded the special in front of a live studio audience and gathers medial experts to discuss weight loss drugs such as Ozempic, Mounjaro and Wegovy.
‘It is a very personal topic for me and for the hundreds of millions of people impacted around the globe who have for years struggled with weight and obesity,’ said Oprah in a statement. ‘This special will bring together medical experts, leaders in the space and people in the day-to-day struggle to talk about health equity and obesity with the intention to ultimately release the shame, judgment and stigma surrounding weight.’
The medical experts featured in the primetime special are Cleveland Clinic’s Dr. W. Scott Butsch, ABC News chief medical correspondent Dr. Jennifer Ashton*, ABC News medical correspondent Dr. Darien Sutton and Cedars-Sinai Medical Center’s Dr. Amanda Velazquez. Oprah will also interview patients from around the country who used weight loss medications. Questions addressed in the special include: Who are the medications really intended for? Who is eligible to receive weight loss drugs? What are the short-term and long-term side-effects?”
*Jennifer Ashton is the TV doctor bitch that relentlessly promoted the “safe and effective” COVID-19 “vaccines” on ABC News for years and then invented something called “Holiday Heart Syndrome” to blame unexplained skyrocketing adverse cardiovascular events on — so, obviously, we can expect nothing but unbiased, nuanced, objective, good-faith medical advice from the likes of this “expert panel.”
Right?
Surely?
“This segment sponsored by…”
Related: Surprise, Surprise, Right in Your Eyes: ‘Miracle’ Weight Loss Drug Not So Miraculous
Ben Bartee, author of Broken English Teacher: Notes From Exile, is an independent Bangkok-based American journalist with opposable thumbs.
Follow his stuff Substack. Also, keep tabs via Twitter.
For hip Armageddon Prose t-shirts, hats, etc., peruse the merch store.
Support always welcome via insta-tip jar.
