Originally published via Armageddon Prose:
You won’t hear about it on MSNBC, but Eric Swalwell (alternatively pronounced “Swallows-Well”), a California Democrat in the occupied People’s House, had a sex affair with a Chinese Communist Party spy named Fang-Fang, for which he lost his seat on the House Intelligence Committee.
Swallows-Well is infamously touchy about his Chinese lover, as evidenced by his tantrum during a recent Congressional hearing when an opposition member raised the issue of his affair with Fang-Fang, whose name he hilariously changed to “Yum-Yum.”
Anyway, Alex Stein #99 recently caught up with Swallows-Well on the streets of DC, and it was wonderfully awkward.
What happened with the Chinese spy you dated @ericswalwell?
— Alex Stein #99 (@alexstein99) May 1, 2023
“Did [Fang-Fang] give you anal? People are saying that she gave you an insertion,” Stein pressed Swallows-Well.
Ben Bartee is an independent Bangkok-based American journalist with opposable thumbs.
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